Thank you so much for your time today, Liliana. You're such a beautiful soul, and I'm really excited to hear your story. Could you please tell us a few things about yourself to start with?
Sure. I'm Liliana. I'm originally from Bulgaria, and I migrated and basically grew up in New Zealand.
I love health and wellness; I love everything to do with looking after yourself: self-care, self-love – yeah, that’s about me.
Beautiful. What are your strengths?
My strengths are… my mindset. I think I have a very positive, growth outlook on life; I'm very bubbly and personable, so I can make people feel comfortable and safe; and I'm a great communicator. I can communicate efficiently and effectively.
How good. What are your weaknesses?
I think I need to learn the boundary of when giving is too much, and not to give too much of myself or too much of something to someone.
Yeah, I can relate (both laugh). Could you tell us about your background and how it has shaped you?
My culture is Bulgarian, Eastern European. A very strict household, but very loving and caring, and very direct. The way that the strictness, I guess, shaped me was to be a bit rebellious and curious. I think that's not a bad thing because it made me want to explore more.
The way that the love and care in my background shaped me is to give more love in order to receive more love. When you give more of something, you get more of it back.
To sum up, I think it's shaped me into wanting to find out more for myself and wanting to explore who I stand for rather than how I was brought up.
That's a beautiful way to look at it… knowing we’ve got similar backgrounds! You faced certain challenges growing up. Would you mind sharing this experience with us?
Yeah, absolutely. One thing that came to mind when you first said that was my relationship with my parents. Growing up, I was a little bit disconnected from them because they were always working, and I was looked after by my grandparents. So, I saw them as my parent figures rather than my actual parents. Not to say that I didn't love them any more or less, but I just never got to see them. So, through my adulthood, when my parents had more time to spend with me, I didn't know what that was like because I had never hung out with them as a child. I would always run away from wanting to hang out with them because it was a foreign feeling. But anytime my grandparents wanted to spend time with me, I'd be there in a heartbeat. I didn’t realise I was doing that unconsciously until recently.
What helped you realise it, and how did you overcome it?
It was at my grandpa’s birthday. We were all having dinner together as a family, and afterward, we were going back to my grandparents’ house to have a birthday cake. I hadn’t seen my parents in a long time—maybe three weeks to a month—and I had seen my grandparents recently.
I drove by myself to the birthday, and the rest came in one car. I was like, “Oh, why doesn’t one of you guys come in my car?” I looked at my mum, because I hadn’t seen her in four weeks. My mum smiled at me, but my grandma immediately said, “Yeah, I’ll come with you,” as if she had the authority—bless her, not in a bad way—while I was looking at my mum. And my mum and I never had that connection for me to be like, “No, I actually want my mum to come.” I looked at my mum, and I saw she was really upset. I ended up taking my grandma, and we went back to the house.
I felt really sorry for my mum, and later that night, I started reflecting on the situation. Why is it so easy for me to hang out with my grandparents, but I resist being with my parents? I think that was a turning point for me. I sat with myself, reflected, and journaled, and then it came out that I don’t know what it’s like to hang out with my parents, and I can see they’re sad. I can see my mum wants that connection with me, and I guess it’s up to me to build it—but it’s just foreign.That’s something I’m working on. I only became aware of it this year. I know it needs to change, but I think it comes down to doing a lot of forgiveness, which is what I’ve started doing. And it’s not just a one-off practice and then it’s done—it’s years of my whole childhood. It sounds really sad, but that’s how I felt: neglected. It felt like my parents became parents but still wanted to live their life. So they never put their life on hold, but they pretty much gave us to my grandparents to look after.
And my grandparents actually lost their daughter, so when I was born, I was like this angel that was rebirthed. They had two children after my dad, and both passed away. So I think when I was born, they really cherished me because they had lost their daughter.
My mum and my grandparents don’t really get along. The reason they don’t get along is because my mum feels like her daughter has been taken away, and vice versa—my grandparents think my mum was a bad mum because she never looked after us. But it’s not like that. My mum wanted us to have a great future, which is why she worked. And now I get it, and I’m so grateful my mum did what she did, because otherwise I wouldn’t be where I am today. You know, I wouldn’t even be in New Zealand.
I have talked to my mum about it, but again, there’s that resistance. It’s hard. I think it’s hard for people trying to heal—they don’t know how to start, they don’t know what to do, they don’t know how to do it. And I’m afraid to do it. I know that once I push past that fear, I’ll be able to do it. But at the moment, it’s just navigating that resistance—from being so comfortable for so many years to them wanting to change. It hurts me, as you can see when I’m talking about it. It’s sore because I know I want to change it, but it’s so foreign that I almost like being safe, but also hate being safe, as I see the pain. And you never know when somebody’s last day here is going to be… so don’t wait.
Thank you for sharing this... Speaking of leaving the safe zone, you recently ended your relationship with your, now ex, partner. Is there something you've learned from the relationship that you would like to share with us today?
Oh, great question. One thing I've learned from my previous relationship is to never neglect yourself. Always put yourself at the core of everything you do, no matter what. To me, that means investing in my health, my career aspirations, my business, and the things I want to do. Look after myself first. Don't give that power to somebody else, because at any given moment, things could change, and that person could walk away with your greatest gift, which is your power. So keep that control and nurture yourself before you try to nurture somebody else.
Beautiful. You've got an amazing business that helps people grow in many ways. It would be amazing to learn more about what you do.I focus on mindset and self-love, specifically helping individuals unlock that power within them. Sometimes, when we navigate life and things happen to us in our childhood or adulthood, we develop beliefs about certain people or situations, seeking the power we once had, forgetting that it’s always within us.
I help people see that power within themselves, unlock it, and use it to their advantage, so they can reach their career goals, health goals, and relationship goals by recognizing that they’re in control, and by not giving that power to somebody else.
This is so inspiring. It is your side project, isn’t it? How do you manage to find energy and drive for different things?I guess I manage it because it's my passion project. So the way I navigate both my side hustle and my main hustle is by balance, by making sure I focus on what success looks like in a business. I make time for myself and prioritise my health, so I don't get stressed out when it comes to working on my business.
That is so good. You spoke about your mindset before. Could you tell us more about it?
My mindset is a growth mindset. I see every challenge as an opportunity to grow. When something unpleasant happens, instead of thinking, "Why is this happening to me?" I think, "Why is this happening for me? What is the beauty in it? What is it trying to teach me?"
I know it's really hard to find the lesson in a challenge because you're in the midst of it, but I think when you zoom out, you'll be able to see that there's actually something it’s teaching you.
I think my mindset is shaped by what I can learn from being on this earth and meeting people, as nothing happens accidentally. Things happen in your life for a reason, and it's your job to figure out what that reason is. You decide if you want to look at it positively or negatively.
What do you value in people the most?
Their authentic self and being present. I really value when somebody shows up as who they truly are, rather than who they think I want them to be, or who they think they should be, or who the world is trying to tell them to be.
I would like to talk with you about self-love and self-acceptance. Could you tell us about your relationship with yourself?
Yeah! My relationship with myself… I love myself, and I don't just say that with an emphasis on love, I embody self-love in a way where I do things for myself. That could mean having a night in to relax, watching movies by myself in solitude. It could mean going to the beach alone, grabbing a coffee, and just walking to enjoy nature. It could mean spending money on myself, like getting my nails done or my hair done. It's really about being comfortable in your own energy, not waiting for someone to validate you or tell you that you're safe. It’s about being that safe space for yourself and knowing that you provide everything you need internally.
Excellent, I love that for you (both laugh). Are you a confident person? Do you have any insecurities? And if you do, how do you deal with them?Good question… Confidence? Yes, I think I am… no, no—I know that I'm confident (laughs). I believe that I embody confidence. And I wasn't born with it; I build it every day. I build confidence by sticking to my word, honouring what I say I'm going to do for myself. So if I say I'm going to do something, I don’t ever think twice about not doing it, because that means I’m showing up and respecting what I say.
Do I have any insecurities? Perhaps sometimes I get a little insecure when it comes to my body, just because I’m on a health journey right now, working on my body. So there have been moments when I notice my mind slipping a little. I was a bigger girl in the past, so sometimes I become conscious of how I talk to myself about certain outfits or how I look in them. But I quickly make sure I take control of that self-talk and change it to more empowering and positive thoughts, so I automatically embody that confidence again and realise, “Oh, it’s always in me.” I take control. Nobody can tell me but me how to feel about myself.
That’s amazing. What do you do in the moments when you feel down? How do you deal with it?
In moments when I feel down, I sit with it. I feel it. I don’t neglect the emotion, and I don’t suppress it either. If I need to cry, I’ll cry. If I’m in a public place and feel down, I’ll remove myself from the situation so I can feel safe. I just let myself be for a bit, and then I ask, “What happened right before I felt down? What caused it? What triggered it?” Then I work towards asking, “How can I give myself love during that time? What do I need to give myself instead of looking for it elsewhere?” What can I provide myself? Do I need a hug? Do I need affirmations? Do I just need to sit there and cry it out? What is it that I need?
And I comfort myself this way. Sometimes, I’ll ask for help. There’s nothing wrong with feeling down. I’ll raise my hand and call someone I trust. Maybe I just want to talk to somebody, or maybe I just need a walk in nature to clear my head. I listen to my body and what it needs in those moments.
It’s very important for me to hear that, I don’t think I deal with it well, really. So yeah, thank you. How do you recharge?
Definitely by the water. I think being by the water, especially during sunrise or sunset, really helps me recharge. There’s something so beautiful about just watching the sun. Every time I’m by the water, seeing the sunshine or the clouds in the sky just lights me back up. And I do it by myself. I like recharging in solitude, so I can feel my energy return and be able to give more.
What is happiness to you?
Happiness to me means gratitude, I think. It’s about feeling really grateful for something in your life or someone in your life. For what you’ve achieved, for what you’ve been through.
What is love to you?
Love is when you feel full and really calm. Love to me is peaceful, it’s like an ocean—like a glass ocean where the water’s just still.
How beautiful! Do you have people that inspire you?
Yes, I’ve got a few. A public figure who really inspires me is Tony Robbins—he’s changed my life through the programs I’ve attended. I also have a personal development coach who’s amazing. She’s helped me with my relationship with myself. My personal trainer is another key influence. She’s transformed my health from the inside out and made me more in tune with my body. I also have a combat sports coach, and he’s helped me build my confidence and technique. He’s taught me not to rush in life—take it one step at a time and perfect that step.
That’s so amazing, having so many professionals around you helping you on your journey.
Yes, having someone with experience in their field, whether they've studied it or lived it, allows them to pass that knowledge on to you. Sometimes all you have to do is ask for help and surround yourself with the right people. You become who you hang out with. So, if you don’t like where you’re at in life, get around people who inspire you or embody what you aspire to be.
If you met your younger self, would you have any advice for her?
Oh, great question. If I met my younger self, I’d hug her and tell her that everything’s going to be okay. Trust the process and always stay positive and bubbly, no matter what. Don’t let anyone take that away from you or change that.
And do you have any advice for yourself today?
My advice to myself today would be to never allow anyone to take your peace away from you. Continue living your truth and embodying who you truly are. Don’t let anyone change that or take it away from you.
Do you have a motto or a quote that inspires you?
Oh yes, my motto would be, “Feel the fear, but do it anyway.”
Is there something you’re looking forward to in the near future?
Yes, I definitely look forward to impacting more lives and helping people see hope within themselves. I want to empower them to realize that if they’re not happy with where they are, they hold the power to change it—to change their life, their career, their health. For anything to change, they have to change.
Amazing! Thank you so much!