Gabi

Hi Gabi. First of all, thank you for the opportunity to have a chat with you and get a glimpse into your world. It's fascinating to see how you embrace life and implement your inner wisdom in your everyday life and work. So, tell us what comes to mind when I ask you, “Who is Gabi?“

Oh, God. (laughs) Hmm, I think Gabi is a work in progress. (laughs) Yeah, I think that at many points in my life, I could have answered this question more clearly, thinking about a definition and a picture that I had for myself. But honestly, at this point in time… I mean, I can tell you everything that's outside, but I'm really trying to find the answer to this question myself. And I'm questioning so many things right now and trying to strip myself of the layers of meaning that I have put on - mostly from the ego or outside circumstances - that I'm really unsure of what's happening on the inside. And I'm actually on a journey of trying to find my way back to that essence.

So, what I am now, technically (laughs), is that I have been in this life, in this body, for 42 years. I was born in Argentina to a family that traveled a lot, so I was really fortunate to do that. I have also studied a lot in my life as well, so I became an academic. Many times when I'm asked who I am, I just recite my curriculum and explain why I have some authority to speak about the topic I'm going to discuss. I do a lot of public speaking as an academic, lecturing and such. Right now, I work in sustainability and conservation. My work is always centered around purpose, and I currently work on participatory methodologies for sustainability and environmental conservation, trying to redefine the ways we are and the ways we do things in relation to the environment. So, that's what I do for work. In my personal life, I'm a mom of two little girls, Serena and Sophia, and I am a seeker of who I actually am.

I would definitely like to get back to your work a bit later, but before we get to that, how has your background impacted your journey?

I think my background has deeply impacted my journey. I was born into a family that taught me a lot of critical thinking, but there was also a conflict in the family. My father was a very strong academic, and even without intending to in the beginning, I ended up having the same career as him. There was a lot of masculine energy in my family - my father had a very strong presence. I admired and loved him very much, but I can see how that created a way of being that was quite aggressive and controlling, very masculine. Whereas I was born as a very feminine, light spirit, and all the things in me that couldn't be seen, touched, or felt with the senses were shut down. For example, I had very active dreaming as a child, and that was shut down. And now, in the end, I have become this person who has a lot of my dad in me and very little of my mom, sadly…

Apart from that, as my family traveled a lot, I don't feel like I belong to any country, and I'm a bit of a citizen of the world - and my kids are too.

What are your biggest strengths and weaknesses?

I think that my biggest strength is questioning everything, being very critical, and quite analytical. This can be really good, but it can also be a weakness. One of my other strengths is that I can see connections -I can see systems at work. I can see how things are connected, even when they aren’t, and I am capable of thinking outside the box. I can see the big picture and the small picture, and then see an alternative to reality in an effort to find a desired outcome. Well, it’s really good for innovation in general. I think another strength of mine is that I can be a leader in many spaces and inspire other people through my passion.

And my weaknesses, which is really interesting - I do second-guess myself a lot, but in the end, I appear strong on the outside. I think another weakness of mine is that I am very, very sensitive. Which can also be a strength as well.

Beautiful. What brought you to New Zealand? Tell us about your journey from your homeland to Aotearoa.

I always wanted to live near the sea, like where this interview is taking place. (laughs) I always felt very strongly attracted to the ocean. Actually, I almost drowned when I was a kid - a lifeguard saved me. So it’s a bit of an interesting attraction because there’s also a bit of fear there.

At some point in my life, I was not happy in Argentina. There were a lot of things going on -a lot of political and economic instability. I also felt like the city where I lived was too narrow-minded for me. I started not fitting in with my friends and my family.

But the main reason for moving was our kids. My husband and I wanted to live in a place that was better, nicer, and more stable to raise them. We wanted to raise our kids in a space that was safe and surrounded by nature. Since we couldn’t make the right decisions in our hometown, we decided to place ourselves in a very natural environment so that we would actually spend a lot of time in nature.

Initially, I didn’t consider New Zealand at all because it was too far. My husband brought it up, and I agreed, even though we had never been to New Zealand before. We sold everything, and after a lot of hard work, we found a job. We were really fortunate and blessed to be able to move here safely with the right visa, a job, and the opportunity to start a life here with the kids. So, I came with my little one - she was one - and my eldest was four. It was a big effort, both physically and emotionally.

Has New Zealand changed your approach to life or your lifestyle in any way?

Yeah, it’s definitely changed me. One of the things that happens when you’re an expat is that you really open yourself up to meeting new people and not judging. Here, it’s so multicultural that you can see there are so many ways of doing things - so many styles, traditions, and faiths. This actually aligns with me a lot more, whereas the opposite approach back in Argentina made me feel uncomfortable.

Being in nature - you know, we choose to spend our leisure time in nature rather than socially. We’ve filtered out all the things you do just because you’re used to them, and now we consciously choose our activities. It’s a bit like a clean slate.

On the other hand, professionally, New Zealand has been so great for me because I feel like my skills and my way of looking at the world are very, very valued here. I work in sustainability, and I honestly think we manifested it all, because the work I got here was very creative, and they allowed me to do my own thing. I was able to design a new career and a new educational pathway, embedding sustainability in everything - from the social and relational aspects to the technical side. I’ve grown a lot, and my work is recognized here far more than in my home country. That’s also because New Zealand has a lot more resources, whereas in Argentina, they’re dealing with more immediate problems. Here, sustainability is a bigger focus.

I wanted to ask you about your work in more detail. Could you tell us a bit more about what you do?

Sorry, I didn’t explain that properly. I work in design, actually - I’m a designer, but what I do is mostly strategic design. That means identifying something in the world that isn’t working and needs you, then combining that with rethinking how things could be improved and how you can use your gifts to make a difference. It’s very much connected to community and place. I work with a very distributed type of solution thinking. I don’t know how to explain it (I can get very nerdy (laughs) ) but instead of assuming that one solution will fit all, I encourage my students to embrace what we call a pluriverse. That means multiple universes of solutions, where different worldviews co-exist. Everyone has their own perspective, and you can move in and out of those perspectives while maintaining respect for each other. It’s about finding solutions that are deeply connected to who you are and where you are.

I’m an educator. I truly believe I can influence young people in how they see life. Educators are incredibly powerful - I stand there, and for three hours, I have their full attention. That’s a huge responsibility every time I teach. Since I work in higher education, my students have chosen to be there and paid to be there, so what I tell them should always encourage critical thinking. My goal is to help them connect with who they truly are, discover their purpose, and integrate that into their projects.

What has been the biggest challenge on your life journey so far?

My role as a mother has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I chose to end a pregnancy before I met my current partner, and that really broke me. Everything I believed in - my sense of who I was and how the world worked - was challenged in that moment, and I had to figure it all out again.

Then I met my husband and had two beautiful children by choice, and it was really hard to understand my role as a mom, especially with everything that had happened in my past and the guilt I was carrying. There was so much for me to learn, and I’m still learning. I think the hardest part of that decision I made was that I stopped loving myself. I don’t know if I loved myself much before that, but I had some sense of identity - and then I ended up doing something that was against everything I believed in.

Going back to loving yourself is such a difficult road, and it comes with a big sense of loss. If you love yourself, cherish that (laughs and cries). It’s so, so hard to come back to that love when you lose it.

Thank you for sharing this, I could not even imagine how hard it was for you… What are you the most proud of?

I’m proud of being able to share my story after so many years of silence (laughs). This is the first time I’ve ever said it, knowing that it will be published.

But no, I think I’m most proud of all the things I’ve tried to overcome - in spite of the pain, in spite of the fear, and in spite of how dark it got. Actually, I think that going through really dark places has allowed me to stop being so afraid.

I’m proud of my kids and of my relationship with my partner because it’s been a continuous process of relearning and letting my ego die little by little. And I am proud of the person I am now, of how far I have come, and how I still choose the path of love.

That’s very powerful. In such a busy world, how do you find time to connect with yourself, and how do you do it? What are your practices?

I’m not really good at that (laughs). I’ve always used the excuse of being too busy - being a mom, working full-time, doing my PhD while raising my children and getting married and everything else. Honestly, I’ve been so busy. But now that my kids are in school, I realize I’ve still been using that as an excuse.

The truth is, I do have time to connect with myself if I allow it. Time can be super bendy - I’m learning that, believing it, and somehow, things just get done. But because I’ve never been disciplined about this, I rarely prioritize my own well-being.

One thing I started doing, honestly out of despair, was going to retreats or temple spaces. I would say, “Okay, this time is for me.” Even for my birthday or Christmas, I’d tell myself, “My gift is time for me.” And despite all the guilt, I would leave and immerse myself in a space like a workshop or a temple.

Now, I’m facing the challenge of trying to have a daily spiritual practice - even just a moment each day to check in with myself, see what comes up, and see what I want to do.

And one of the things that I feel I have to let go of is social media, which takes up a lot of my time - it's ridiculous. So I'm in that process.

And then the other thing I'm allowing myself is to be kind. If I really don't feel like being spiritual, I just go for a walk on the beach or something like that, and it happens naturally - I end up connecting, just differently. So I do try to find time to spend in nature, even if it's just a walk in the city on my way to work… and music also helps me. Music really helps me when I'm finding it hard to connect.

That's beautiful. I so much agree, you don't need a specific time or space to connect. It can happen at any point, as long as you find your way back to yourself - through music, through nature, through time spent with loved ones…How do you recharge?

In general - (ah!)- I need to rest. I need to sleep and not feel guilty about it. I need to be in my bed, read a book, and have a cup of tea. And being a mom, that space has been hard to find. Sometimes I recharge in nature, especially in the water, even if it's cold and I have to force myself to do it. It is, honestly, physically recharging. Like, it's physics. So water helps - sea water, especially.

I love pleasure. Sometimes I recharge by watching a TV show that makes me laugh or that helps my mind switch off. My mind is always working a lot. So even watching a TV show can be recharging. I think I recharge in many ways, actually - by hanging out with people I can be myself around, where I don’t have to put in an effort.

What is love to you?

I think love is the energy of connection. I think it's our natural energy - connection and comfort. And I think that when you're vibrating in love, everything is easy and makes sense. It's not necessarily between a man and a woman - it’s just being so relaxed, in a state of vibration that feels perfect, you know? It just feels good.

Beautiful. What is happiness?

Oh, God (laughs), these questions! I think it's actually love - but more energetic, more moving. Love in action.

Love it! What brings you the greatest joy?

I love fish (laughs). No, I love animals in general. And the truth is, in this physical world, when I get to see animals - especially water animals like whales and dolphins - it brings me so much joy. I get exhilarated. I'm just so happy, and it's like… thrilled happiness.

What brings me joy... Oh, the laughter of my kids. Oh, it brings me so much joy! When I see them laughing and being as pure as they were when they were born - like when they drop all the layers. I know they're super young, but they already have layers now that they've been in this world for a while. So when I see them as pure as they were in the past, when I catch them laughing or being so innocent, that brings me so much joy.

If you could give a piece of advice to your younger self, what would it be?

You have to love yourself no matter what. Be yourself and cherish everything that came with you. Don't let anybody tell you that you're not good enough or anything like that. Because as an older person now, I'm just trying to go back to that - to find it again. I had that once, and it was so pure, it was gold. It was pure gold. And I let it go because I did not cherish it. I focused on all these other things that, yes, have helped me live in this world… but they are not gold.

Maybe that’s my path, but now that I know how to live in this world, I want to go back and find the remnants, the embers of that fire. They're still there, just buried under so many layers of conditioning.

I think they're closer than you think… Would you give some advice to yourself today?

Do not fear. Trust and surrender. And I'm actually really excited because I think I'm starting a new phase in my life where the mundane has been dealt with, arranged, and set in place - so that I can go back to the magical, to the amazing in my life, in me, and in my family. And I'm so ready for it (laughs).

It's beautiful. And last question, do you have a motto in life?

I never had a motto that I kept repeating… and it might sound super cliché right now, but I would say: when you are scared, when you're angry - go back to the energy of love. Like, all you need is love. It's a motto for everyone, but it’s so true.

I can see how, if I focus - on my body, on my feelings - and if I try to go back to love and trust, the way always comes to me in difficult times.

Amazing. Thank you!